Well, it's a long walk back from the park. Almost dark outside. When I lose myself I go to the park to swing. Something about it helps me think. I look to the sky to see an array of pinks and oranges against the dark navy. Not a typical November sunset. 

Cross the street. Avoid being hit by cars. Slow from a quick walk to a stroll. Pause before entering the woods. A fox? Why now? It's young. I'll have to take the long way home. The streets are so empty in my neighborhood. Old rotting houses cased in vibrant paints slowly drag by as I walk. I think about visiting my second home.. But the black of night chases the thought away. 

Eva is at my house when I arrive.

"What the hell?" She says, which makes me smile. We go to my room to avoid my parents and talk about life. Her mom has been hitting her again. I know how she feels, but I'm sure my dad is a stronger hitter than her mom. I stay silent as she speaks. I tell her about my guy troubles. My newfound love. She's never loved anyone, so I know she wants me to shut up. 

We settle the conversation playing ATV2, drinking soda, and laughing our asses off. The best thing about being with her is we can tell each other anything, and no matter how sad, we always fix it with laughter and jokes. 

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Loveless texts me. Eva is taking up half my bed, asleep. I go to sit across the room and read the text, the quiet sound of a depressing Mayday Parade song in the backround. 

Loveless: Hey

Me: Sup

Her: Not much.. You?

I WANT to say "Oh, just sitting in a chair wondering where I went wrong to get replaced" But alas...

Me: Being bored.

Our conversations usually drag on randomly, since I'm boring when I text. I sigh. Wish I could be in Cali. Sacramento awaits me, holding the love of my life. I know Loveless has good intentions. Shes a great person. I know when something is wrong, and I know she won't tell. So I stay quiet about it. She's very pretty and super nice. Skinny, great smile, and real caring. The perfect image of a best friend. However I haven't believed her when she's said I'm her best friend. I was, at one point. But I got replaced with one of my old friends who I never talk with anymore. She, also, is nice. But I don't have anything in common with her. I hate it. and I hate myself. 

I decide to stop answering texts before I put too much thought into it. Or say something I don't mean. I go sit on my roof and stare at the stars. I watch the sky slowly bring tomorrow forward.

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